Daily Inspiration
Sept. 15




The Has-Beens


I read the papers every day, and oft encounter tales which show
there's hope for every jay who in life's battle fails.

I've just been reading of a gent who joined the has-been ranks,
at fifty years without a cent, or credit at the banks.

But undismayed he buckled down, refusing to be beat, and
captured fortune and renown; he's now on Easy Street.

Men say that fellows down and out ne'er leave the rocky track,
but facts will show, beyond a doubt, that has-beens do come back.
I know, for I who write this rhyme, when forty-odd years
old, was down and out, without a dime, my whiskers full of mold.

By black disaster I was trounced until it jarred my spine; I was
a failure so pronounced I didn't need a sign.
And after I had soaked my coat, I said (at forty-three),
"I'll see if I can catch the goat that has escaped from me."

I labored hard; I strained my dome, to do my daily grind,
until in triumph I came home, my billy-goat behind.

And any man who still has health may with the winners stack, and
have a chance at fame and wealth--for has-beens do come back.

© Walt Mason


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Daily Joke


North Carolina Crazy Law

# All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet
apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden.

# If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married
then, according to state law, they are legally married.
# It's against the law to sing off key.

# Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.

# A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.

Barber
# Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

Chapel Hill
# It is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly.

Charlotte
# Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

Elon College
# There is to be no rollerblading during daylight hours, on the roads, or on the bricks. All the sidewalks
at this college are made of brick. (Repealed in 1998)

Forest City
# You must stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile. This is so the townspeople
will have time to go out and hold their horses until you get through town.

Greensboro
# Restaurants "with on sidewalk dining" must post their menu so that it is clearly readable from the
sidewalk, but is not readable from the street.

Hornytown
# Massage parlors have been banned.

Kill Devil Hills
# You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars.

Rocky Mount
# It is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog.

Southern Shores
# It is against the law to rollerblade on a state highway.

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Miss Sherri Emily


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