I Need Advice or my Question is... My twelve year old niece and I have always bee very close but,lately she has been ignoring me. She is hanging around with a new crew of friends and they are always with her,no matter what time - day, or night,that I try to call,chat with {on-line},or visit her. While I understand that at her age spending time with your old auntie is "boring", I am worried about her. One of the boys she spends all of her time with is fifteen and her Mom has taught her nothing about life {boys,sex...}. I have already caught this boy - half naked,laying on top of her and I fear she'll be pregnant before she is thirteen. Her Mom,does not know how to be a Mother,the kids were taken from her once already and came to live with my husband and I. If I could get some time alone with her,maybe I could arm her with some knowledge and wisdom. Problem is - how can I do that if her friends are always with her and she ignores me? help...Please advise!

I Need Advice or my Question is... I think my daughter takes advantage of me. She uses all my things, wears my clothes without asking, sometimes I don't even get a chance to wear them, I buy them, she wears them first. She wears all my make-up, she uses my phone, knowing that I am expecting important phone calls. I have asked her numerous times over and over again to have more respect for me and my belongings, she just ignores me, it's like I'm talking to the wall. She does help out around the house, she does make many meals, she does do what I ask her when it comes to household chores, sometimes she takes her time doing it, but it does get done. I need some advice as to what to do, I feel like I'm at my wits end.

Someone in need.

Here is my answer/advice.

Before I give some advice, I'd like to know if you've asked her why she does it. You've told her what you want, she's ignoring you, so now ask why she is doing this. Keep this in mind - when you ask, you might get an answer that is merely an attempt to put you off. A weak answer. If you have to, ask a second time.

Once you know why she is acting this way, you can have a conversation about the cause and see if that helps resolve the issue. You can also ask her how she would feel if someone treated her the same way she is treating you. If they took her clothes to use before she had a chance to wear them.

Ed

Sounds like it's time for some tough love. If I were in your situation,I would keep all clothes and make-up locked in my bedroom - off limits to darling daughter. If she can't respect you and your belongings,then she can not use them. Also, allow her a limited amount of time on your phone,but not when you're expecting an important call. I know that locking you're things up may sound harsh,but she needs to learn a hard lesson:She can't just take someones things with-out respecting the person enough to ask first. Remember,no maiier what your daughters age may be,you are still the parent and a human being who deserves respect. Be strong Mom!

VP

Here is my answer/advice.

I've been there too. One of the problems with going from job to job is you never get really good at one thing.

Success is not something you go after. Success is something you attract by the person you become. The skills you develop will determine the income you earn.

Companies and employees earn money according to the value they bring to the marketplace. By going from job to job, never developing one skill to a great extent, you are unable to bring greater value to the marketplace. Therefore...you won't earn the income you could by specializing on one primary skill (job).

I recommend you find something you love to do and get really good at it. I say this because to become really good at something, you have to spend a lot of time and effort. It's a lot easier to do that if you love what you do. If you can't find anything you love to do, you can still become a great success, it just takes more will power.

There is a classic book that has sold millions of copies and has helped thousands of people reach their potential. The book is titled "Think And Grow Rich." (Doesn't that title intrigue you?)

It was written by Napoleon Hill decades ago. Napoleon was introduced to the most successful people of his generation by Andrew Carnegie, the great steel magnate. He took the success principles he learned from all those interviews and put them into one book. I highly recommend the book.

I don't normally do this, but if you live in the United States and go to the "Contact Us" form and give me your address, I will send you a free copy of "Think And Grow Rich." If you do this, I suggest you study the book and apply the principles into your own life. (For anyone else reading this post, we get lots of visitors each month and I can't do this for everyone. I hope you understand.)

My mentor, a multimillionaire, said he read the book 25 times in his life. That's how important he found the book.

Some of the book is a little weird in my opinion, so I didn't do all of it. That's something you have to decide yourself. What you will do and what you won't.

Again, go to our "Contact Us" and give us your address.

For others reading this post, if you want to buy the book, here is link to it at Amazon.com:

Think and Grow Rich

Ed Kalski - Co-founder of Everyday Wisdom, LLC

Here is my answer/advice.

With today's times it's hard for anyone to get a job now a days. But don't give up, keep trying, the right job will come through for you, just have faith and a positive attitude and it will happen. Wake up, look in the mirror and say "Today I will get a job". If you keep this up and walk into a place with that kind of attitude it will happen.

As for you thinking that another job might be better than the last. Remember what your mother told you, "The grass is not always greener on the other side". So try your hardest to stay around a bit longer at the job you do get, maybe, just maybe, if you stick around you might realize it was and is a perfect job for you!

Hope this helps a bit! Miss Sherri Emily

Please take advantage of Ed Kalski's offer of a free copy of "Think and grow Rich" and Miss Sherri Emily's advise to "Have a positive attitude". But, also keep in mind, that only you can know what's right and what your true calling is.

Dare to dream and then, make that dream a reality! Good Luck V.C.!

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Well, you did not give your sons age,so there are two ways to look at this:
If he is under sixteen, then some monitoring might be a good idea. Check to see that he is only talking to friends and who those friends might be. Maybe you could make your own myspace account and add him as a friend. That way, you can see who his friends are and put your worries to rest. If he is over sixteen, I wouldn't be too worried. Try talking with him - Ask him what games he plays: Mobsters,Rockstars,Mafia Wars...there are tooMany to list.
Whether he is under sixteen or over, he is probably just playing some of these games. Either way, a walk-by once in a while when he is on-line, could ease your fears. Also, you could try limiting his time on-line - there is more to life than the Internet.

Tina C.

Here is my answer/advice.

There are software programs available that will monitor pages viewed by your son as well as put a time limit on how long he can be on the computer at one time.

I Need Advice or my Question is...
My girlfriend lives in Puerto Rico and has three daughters (17, 16 & 12). We see each other about every two month by me flying down to see her. I talk to my girlfriend everyday and most of the time one of her daughters pick up the phone. I would like to talk to the girls but I really don't know what questions to ask. I ask about school and I just get "okay". I would like to have a taking relantionship with my future step-daughters and I need help with questions to ask when I call.

If you are moving to Puerto Rico to live with them have them organize day trips to places that they think you would enjoy. You must include them in some of the day to day activities. Talk with co-workers that have daughter in their age group and find out what they are into.What type of music? Who do the girls talk about(singers movie stars) Most teenagers are not into talking about school.
If you are uprooting them from Puerto Rico to move to New Jersey then you may never have a good talking relationship. Being a step parent is very hard, It takes work from both adults to blend a family together. You have a lot to overcome but with work and love you will have a great family.

Mel