Your The Result

You're the result of the innocence that was taken from a child
And displayed for the world to critique;
Placing a bastard child inside another
And that child was me.

I was seventeen years old- a baby having one of my own
And while conception is a miracle,
My heart was made of stone.

I didn't ask for the ridicule
Or the feelings of lonliness and despairs.
Not even my tears were alone;
They ran down my face in pairs.

I hated being singled out
When all I wanted to do was fit in
And I got tired of hearing that since I was pregnant,
The fact that I was easy was a given.

I wasn't ready to face many of the struggles
that we've met along the way
but each day as I watch you change,
I take a moment to pray:

Please, Lord, give us the strength
We're bound to need today
To help us overcome the challenges
We ran into yesterday.

And each time I say these words,
The Lord responds with a smile,
"I've given you the most precious gift-
The lessons of a child through each and every trial."

It's amazing to me how I'm the mother
But you always seem to keep me on track and going the right way
Whether it's in your selflessness
Or the little things you say:

"Mom, lemme tell you a secret",
"I love you" or "can I sleep with you tonight"?
You reassure me of your adoration
And every day, you give me a new reason to fight.

One thing I've learned along the way
Is it's not in the way He kisses you
or whether or not he's gonna call-
I cried to many wasted tears and was too naive to know
All the love I thought I felt wasn't ever love after all.

You saved my life when my
Priorities were backwards and got switched around.
You're the one that stops me from falling
And shattering on the ground.

You're the one that keeps me going
When all I wanna do is lay down and cry.
Yours are the arms ever present
When I lay my head down at night.

Everything happens for a reason-
There's a purpose for everyone's existance,
And there really are angels here on earth.
Mine came April 28th, 2004
And weighed 8lbs 3oz at birth.

© Nichole Senn

Dedicated to: Rayne Michale Senn

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