After the glow of the honeymoon subsides, married couples discover that being in a marriage takes unthinkable mettle and patience. The habits of their single years must give way to new habits that are conducive and practical for married life. Because the first few years of marriage can be a time of trial and error,those who are newly married may benefit by getting a heads-up of what habits are best left to fond memories.
1. Hiding Money
People who were financially independent as single individuals may struggle to adjust to sharing bank accounts and assets with someone else. It can be very tempting to hide a few bucks here and there just to cling to that old independent feeling. However, money and finances are two things that can often break up a marriage. While it may be difficult to adjust to sharing money, it is vital that both parties agree to be forthcoming about their finances and avoid hiding assets from their partner.
2. Viewing Pornography
Many people think of pornography as harmless fun that cannot hurt their marriages. However, studies increasingly show that the vast majority of spouses view pornography as a direct threat to their unions. Spouses can grow to feel like they cannot measure up to a variety of false standards. They may feel less desirable as they watch their significant other take part in this potentially harmful activity. The mental and physical problems that may arise from this habit can cause serious issues within a marriage, so it is best to avoid it in the first place.
3. Believing in Fantasies
People who are newly married often think they'll be guaranteed the fairytale life of happiness and bliss. However, many marriages today suffer the realistic woes that eventually lead to divorce. When people have fought for their marriages and still experience the bitterness that comes with defeat, it may be time for them to consider a divorce lawyer, such as Katz & Phillips. As sad as it is to call an end to their union, sometimes people fare better being single than married, particularly when the person who is supposed to love them the most is in fact their worst enemy.
4. Needing to Be Right
Many marriages are also threatened by one or both partner's constant need to be right in an argument. When couples cannot come to an accord and compromise during a disagreement, they alienate themselves from each other. While the feeling that comes from winning an argument can be a justified triumph, it also can be a hollow victory if the person has hurt the feelings of the other spouse or angered that spouse immensely.
5. Gender Expectations
Many people go into a marriage thinking that the man has to be the breadwinner and the wife has to do all of the housework. While these gender roles worked well 60 years ago, they have no place in a modern marriage. Spouses who can readjust their gender role thinking and learn to share work and housecleaning duties may ensure the future of their marriage.
In the end, most marriages are successful if people learn what habits to avoid. Taking these suggestions into mind can help people adjust to marriage and ensure its future during times of difficulty.
Debbie Nguyen's 26 years of marriage has had its fair share of ups and downs. Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/79992579@N07/8471360847/
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Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/79992579@N07/8471360847/