Suggestions For Men On How To Better Communicate With Women
understand and be understood.
The best way to understand people is to listen to them."
This article only briefly touches on this subject but points out several problem areas specific to men with this ongoing dilemma. For starters, one particular skill that a lot of men seem to fall short in is listening!
This is perhaps the most effective manner in which men can improve their skills and communicate with women better...become a better listener! This doesn't always come easy for men, obviously because he is coming from a different perspective. The next important issue to point out is that a man needs to keep in mind how quickly unpleasant feelings can arise in a conversation that he feels is going well. These feelings often erupt because the man is not listening with an understanding of the woman's viewpoint. Before a man can better his skills at communicating with women, he must start taking the responsibility for understanding the way women talk. It is so common for the man to put blame on her when he starts to become upset. Try to keep in mind her feelings have validity even though it might not makes sense to you immediately right at that moment. Before coming to any conclusion, try to see the situation through her eyes. Always remember to keep a woman's fundamental needs for communication in mind and use the conversation to make her feel respected, understood, and validated. Take the time to reassure her and let her know that you care about what she is saying and feeling. Make her feel that you are listening to her and your communication will improve.
Sometimes males experience uncomfortable emotions because they do not know what to do to solve things. Another important aspect to better their communication with women, men must realize they don't always need to offer solutions and to resist that overwhelming urge to take the problem completely off his female counterpart's shoulders. Just because women talk about their problems doesn't mean they don't know how to solve them. Women mainly want men to just listen to them.
To better communicate with women, you don't always have to agree with them. If you do choose to disagree, however, you'll be better able to get your point of view across if you let them finish with what they want to say. Men are often guilty of trying to talk over one another when they have disagreements, and when interrupting each other, then tend to raise their voices. When trying to effectively communicate with women, however, men need to understand that women interpret these behaviors as "power plays", ultimately resulting in poor communication between the two genders.
In addition, it is important for men to avoid pretending they understand when they really don't and from jumping in to self-defense mode. If and when you don't understand, it's much better to make that admission and you should find that communicating with women is much easier when you do this. If you disagree on an issue that you feel strongly about, you should let her know that what she said is important to you but then gently explain your point of view.
If you make a mistake, especially when you have slighted her feelings, apologize! If you listen and acknowledge her feelings, you'll close the gender gap and open the door to effective communications.
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