Is your marriage on the rocks? Have you found yourself asking, "can separation save a marriage?" You're not alone! Before giving up all hope and believing that your marriage is doomed, a trial separation may be all you need. In this article, we discuss some of the differences in informal and legal separations.
Often times married life becomes extremely stressful for one reason or another, and many couples find it miserable to live together anymore. When this happens, some couples wish to have a trial separation which may help to work through the differences between both the partners. In some cases, separation is prohibited by cultural or religious rules and they prefer to live apart
though legally remaining married. The question is can separation save a marriage and does it really work?
There are two kinds of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts. A legal, formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense.
Generally, separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples first try to participate in marital counseling which may help to work through the differences. Some couples seek out advice from their friends, family or religious leaders. Many people are successful in resolving their marital problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars.
After trying these options, the couples choose a trial separation. Now, you will wonder, can separation save a marriage? Is it an appropriate way to save a marriage? Yes, it may be helpful as it gives an opportunity to both the partners to experience the feelings of being separated before making any final decision. The major advantage of trial separation is that it is reversible.
During the period of trial separation, you may go through marital counseling, giving you a chance to think over it before making your final decision. This separation period has given you ample time to think about your differences, your mistakes, problems in your married life and ways to resolve them.
An absence of daily bickering and conflicts may turn out to be an effective answer to can separation save a marriage. Due to a lack of proximity, there is absolutely no chance for conflicts. Both partners get enough time to think over their marital problems. Most of the marital problems originate from fear, ego or stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long as one partner wishes to keep trying.
The main purpose of trial separation is to develop skills to resolve problems before moving back together, and to work on improving the relationships. For a couple, a planned separation can be a good time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to calm down and cool off. It helps to make thoughtful decisions and thus work to save a marriage.
In some cases, separation may be more unplanned as there may be no plans for marriage counseling, no tentative time line for separation and no guidelines agreed about seeing others. Hence, before you think about separation, talk with each other about the individual goals of separation. Both should be ready for seeking individual and joint counseling during the separation period.
The answer to the question 'can separation save a marriage' lies within the person himself/herself. This can be determined once you realize, through a separation, how important your spouse is in your life and how life may be without him/her.
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