More Blonde Humor...Proving That
"Blondes Have More Fun"!






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Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

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While waiting at a traffic light a blonde was chatting on her cell phone and bumped into the car in front of her. The driver, a dwarf jumped out of the car and looked at the damage the blonde had done to his car and yelled “I’m not happy.” The blonde said “well which dwarf are you then?”

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A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies"
Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day, we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly states"No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual"if you need anything, just let me know."
Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be ok??"
"No" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"

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A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning.

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A teenage blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Harold, the Wal-Mart manager runs out unplugs the machine to shut the horse off.

***************************************************************** The young blonde wife had just a very sexy luxurious set of black silky lingerie. In the front was a tag that was very course and scratchy. To eliminate them from scratching she simply cut the tag out.
That left just a very small strip in the back to help identify the front from the back of the lingerie. Putting them on in the semi dark bedroom became a challenge and it took several times of putting them on taking them off and turning them around to get them on right.
The husband sat up on the bed and asked “Did you read the instruction manual?” She said “No I think I just cut it off and threw it away.”

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A blonde customer at the perfume counter picked up one bottle and lovingly sniffed the fragrance.
" Surrender' is our hottest item," interjected the salesclerk. "Would you like to buy a bottle?"
"It's very nice," the blonde replied. "But do you have anything called 'Negotiate'?"

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the blonde woman at the counter that my bags had never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals, and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"

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Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know if they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss!
Gently she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at their coffee break,the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again,and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. "No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday

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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .." He sighed ..... "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."

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A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."

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A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200-lb. black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

After thinking for a minute, the blonde driver said "Oh I wonder where it went!" and turned around and started driving back home.

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A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.

She passes a person who asks, "Where did you get that?" The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

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Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over.

"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said. "Well thank you", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman. "Okay.", replied the herder. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder. So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382". "Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you". "What is it?", queried the woman. "If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"

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There are two blondes and a brunette on an island. One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each....

The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat." With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.

The second blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I need a jet ski." With a flash, a jet ski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first blonde.

The genie looks inquiringly toward the brunette, who with raised eyebrows, smiles and says, "Just give me a million dollars, I'll take the bridge."

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There was a redhead, a brunette and a blonde were stranded on an island. One day as they walked the beach looking for a rescue ship they found and old bottle that had washed up on the beach. They opened it and out popped a Genie. He was very grateful for being allowed the freedom from the bottle so he granted them each one wish.

The redhead thought for a moment and said I wish I were at home in San Francisco..."POOF"...she disappeared and was back at her home.

The brunette thought for a moment and said I wish that I was in Paris with my boyfriend..."POOF"...she is in Paris having dinner with her boyfriend.

The blonde looked around and said, "Gee its lonely here! I wish my friends were back..."Poof, Poof".


For more pages of humor and laughter click these links:
Humor between Guys and Gals
Medical Humor
Senior Humor



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