Life's Unanswered Questions...Because We All Wonder "Why"?
Every once in awhile you have a moment when one of life's unanswered questions pops up. There never seems to be an answer, just the question. Well here are some we have found and decided to share them with you. Are you ready?
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Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
If someone leads but no one follows... are they just out for a walk?
Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
How can something be 'new and improved'? If it's new what was it improving on?
If all of the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do we say that an alarm goes 'off?'
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Have you ever wondered what the other side of your belly button looks like?
Once they figured out how to put food in a can, how long was it before they invented the can opener to get it out of the can?
How many parking spaces do you need to make a parking lot? Is it just a few or a lot?
Why can’t you break a bubble underwater?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
How come when you are driving through a neighborhood looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
How do the skittle company people know what a rainbow tastes like?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If we're not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
If you mix milk of magnesia with vodka and orange juice, do you get a Phillip's screw driver?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
If your clone kills you, is that suicide?
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
What is a near-miss? If you nearly miss something, don't you hit it?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said: Quit while you're ahead?
If we find life on other planets, what would happen to the Miss Universe pageant?
Does the fountain of youth and the fountain of knowledge come from the same fictitious underground stream?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Courtroom humor... here come the judge
Crazy consumer cautions
Guys vs Gals
Humor is good for the body
Praying for more church humor
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